Before I get to the real story here, I have to share Walmart's response as to why one of the company's Great Value ice cream sandwiches didn't melt after 12 hours out-of-doors in a Southern Ohio summer. Here's what Walmart spokescritter Danit Marquardt said:
Ice cream melts based on the ingredients, including cream. Ice cream with more cream will generally melt at a slower rate, which is the case with our Great Value ice cream sandwiches.
I'll wait while you clean up whatever just came out of your nose when you started laughing so hard your sides hurt. OK? Feel better now? Here's the story from Ashley Lutz at Business Insider:
A Cincinnati mother is concerned that the Wal-Mart ice cream sandwiches she bought for her family aren't melting in the summer heat. Christie Watson told local news station WCPO she was shocked upon finding a nearly intact ice cream sandwich her son had left outside for 12 hours. Temperatures are topping 80 degrees in Cincinnati this week. Intrigued, Watson left another one of the sandwiches outside for 12 hours — and found that the ice cream had barely melted. "I thought to myself: What am I feeding to my children?" Watson said. WCPO did a similar test and left Wal-Mart Great Value brand ice cream sandwiches, Klondike bars, and a cup of Haagen-Dazs outside in the hot sun for 30 minutes. "The Wal-Mart sandwich, though it melted a bit, remained the most solid in appearance, and still looked like a sandwich," the station reports.
I'm thinking that Walmart has tapped into the secret of the Hostess Twinkie, famous staying soft and moist after years on the grocery shelf; not that I'd want to actually eat one. Jeff Hess: Have Coffee Will Write.

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