Walmart sells more bananas than anyone else in the United States, but I've never read a number, or place in the hierarchy of sales, for how much ammunition Walmart sells. I'll go for a shit load and move on. The reason I'm writing about ammunition is a piece by Mike Adams for Townhall headlined: The Wal-Mart Rule. Before getting into the bang of Adams' Op-Ed, let me say that there is a part of the nation's population---sometimes referred to as preppers or simply crazy fucks---who have watched too many dystopian/end-of-the-world movies over the years and have lost the ability to differentiate between fiction and reality. One of the bits of irony in this is that these same people believe that Climate Change/Global Warming is a conspiracy. Go figure. So, Adams writes:
As a conservative criminologist, I get a lot of questions about gun ownership. People often ask me how to go about building a good firearm collection just in case things start to go south quickly. [Adams is not talking about Dixie here---see crazy fucks, above. JH] I usually respond by telling them to follow the Wal-Mart rule. It is probably the best way to make sure you are prepared when the republic finally disintegrates into utter lawlessness. The Wal-Mart rule involves three basic steps.I'll be blatantly honest here. I cannot tell if Adams is serious or not. (He could even be moonlighting as a flack for the civilian arms industry writing a piece sure to boost sales, but I have no evidence of that.) In a universe where Donald Trump is the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party telling the difference has become harder and harder. In a nutshell, here is the Wal-Mart Rule as articulated by Adams: Step One---Go to your nearest Walmart and make a list of the different kinds of ammunition in stock. Step Two---Buy all the guns needed to fire all the ammunition on your list. Step Three---Buy one box of ammunition each and every time you visit a Walmart. Adams leaves out an important step, however, which is simply: Step Four---Prepare yourself to answer this question on your deathbed: Why the fuck did I spend all that money on ammunition I never used? People who worry about this kind of (possible but so improbably as to be meaningless) event---Y2K was only 16 years ago---have a lot in common with religious folk who use the end of the world as their guiding principle like Laura and Michael McIntyre (hat tip to Mano Singham). Jeff Hess: Have Coffee Will Write.