I read the tale of Walmart, Joe Paolucci and Thomas Hitchcock three times and I'm still not convinced that it isn't a farce. But I can't find anyone calling bullshit on the story so I'll leave to you readers to decide if Walmart can really be this batshit crazy. The absurd take of Joe Paolucci and Thomas Hitchcock from The Southbend Tribune:
Before they got outside, store employees stopped them. "They asked if I had Bic lighters. I said, 'Yes,' and handed them over," Paolucci said. "Then they asked if I had a receipt. I said, 'Yes, you're holding it.' Then this group of Wal-Mart employees started forming around us." Paolucci and Hitchcock said the employees were threatening and that one used a vulgarity. Their accusations frightened the boys, who began "crying, screaming and freaking out," they said. Paolucci said that while he and Hitchcock were attempting to calm down the boys, the employees ordered them to enter a "detention room" for questioning. Fearful of what might happen behind closed doors, he and Hitchcock refused to enter and asked to speak to a manager. "Some guy came up and said, 'I'm the manager,' then turned around and left," Hitchcock said. Paolucci said he and Hitchcock then asked store personnel to call police. Within minutes, deputies from the Berrien County Sheriff's Department's Niles Township Patrol arrived, pleasing Paolucci who said he thought a few questions and a review of the store's videotapes and computer records would quickly resolve the matter.
But it didn't. And events went south. I can't even make sense from the discussion on Snopes. Jeff Hess: Have Coffee Will Write.

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